Arranging Marriage in India

 Serena Nanda is a professor of Anthropology. She visited different parts of India during her fieldwork and observed that almost all marriages are arranged in India. As an American woman, she found the custom of arranged marriage oppressive. She couldn’t believe how intelligent young woman would be ready for marriage with a man whom she doesn’t know. Gradually her opinion changed when she interacted with a number of Indian young girls. She asked several questions to a college graduate named Sita and from her response she learned that arranged marriage is too important. In India, parents choose a partner for their son or daughter because they are more experienced. They put many things into consideration, such as the same caste, economic status, appearance, education, and their family’s reputation. Usually, the bride and groom do not meet before the marriage although in some cases it is possible for them to meet briefly if the parents believe the marriage is suitable. If the partner chosen is refused, parents choose another partner for them. In America, girls or boys are worried about the search of their marriage partners. They think that romantic love is important for a happy marriage. That’s why there is no excitement in marriage and most of the couple are in the process of a divorce after marriage. But in India, she learned that there is no love before marriage and that’s why there is a lot of excitement in marriage. Then only she saw the positive aspects of arranged marriages. She involved herself in the matchmaking process and learned that the matchmaking process in India is the elaborate, careful and years-long affair. In one case a prospective match for her friend’s son is dismissed because the potential bride’s family has too many daughters to be able to provide for a proper wedding. In another case, a prospective bride is ruled out because she is too forward. Another possibility is rejected because the candidate is overweight and has weak eyes. After two years, she found a village girl and returned to America before marriage was finalized. When she got an invitation to a wedding, she became very happy. In this way, she succeeded in making a match for her friend’s son.